Hi, I'm Annie
My raison d'etre is helping newer widows through the pain and fear of early widowhood, on to the scary period between being one of a couple and being one alone. and on to the eventual independence and a new life.
I was widowed at the age of 55, having never lived alone. My husband died next to me in bed without any warning, throwing me into a turmoil such as I had never known. After six months, I woke up in the middle of the night and said, aloud, "It's time for me to write that widowhood guidebook.
The book, For Widows Only! (which became available in early 2004), is actually a dream come true for me.When I was 29 years old, my best friend, Pauli Jensen, lost her husband to liver cancer. She was left with three little ones, just a few years younger than my own three. I truly don't think I would have survived. Her youngest was born the week they learned of Will's invasive liver cancer. Pauli didn't think she would survive either. But she did, after trials and tribulations best left untold here.
Early in her widowhood, Pauli came from Minneapolis to visit me in Wisconsin, and we began putting together an outline for what we thought would be a perfect guidebook for widows.We accumulated tons of information and piles of paper, which eventually migrated to my garage as we both got busy, and my family moved and moved again.
Then, at age 55, when I should have been much more able to handle the rigors of widowhood, my husband died. I had 26 years of maturity she didn't have; I had enough money to live on, which she didn't have. I had many friends who were widows, which she didn't have. And I STILL thought I would never survive alone.
Looking back, I would say that I grieved for four years. I wasn't totally numb and tearful all that time. But it wasn't until about four years later that I surfaced and faced life alone with optimism.
Oh, I forgot to tell you how you can find out about my book, and/or get peer support for your own grief.
For Widows Only! the book and two websites: http://groups.msn.com/forwidowsonly.com and http://forwidowsonly.com
I'll quit here for now. Dew Drop Inn. Annie
